well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
