my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
