I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
