and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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