I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
