Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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