when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize