You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
