Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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