Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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