waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
