Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
