There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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