is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
