So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
im holly from the hills drunk
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
