Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
