what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize