"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Small penises have feelings too.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
