I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We need to get me chipped asap
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
