Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize