margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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