im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
