Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
