there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
