All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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