tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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