fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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