So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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