awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
