Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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