What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
