Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
the raccoons are back...
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