Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
