The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
