Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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