i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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