i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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