U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
