Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You took a bar mat shot.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
