And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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