therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
