I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
