distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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