he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
