He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
only if we run a train.
done.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
