sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
