I could have mohawked her pubes.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
