I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
