he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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