Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
one might say we're banned from that church
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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