he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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