Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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