so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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