why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize