DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
