And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
