u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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