it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
