Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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