Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
