id be glad to
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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