Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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