Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
