i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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