Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
