Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
