Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
