i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
