You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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