In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
