great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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